anthea.

independence

2012-01-27T01:15:00.002+08:00

damnit anthea.

my to-do list is elongating faster than i can keep up.

how badly do i want this?? rlly need to sort my thoughts out.

they never go away

2012-01-26T17:00:00.002+08:00

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close

for the first time im hearing the story behind this song.

omg its damn touchinggggg true love is very much alive :')

as iron sharpens iron?

2012-01-26T11:24:00.003+08:00

you cant be inconsistent and yet expect me to trust you.

im honestly so sick of how proficient you are at twisting and turning your words-_-

and if you get so frking defensive every time someone bothers to point out a blindspot to you, no one's gonna ever bother. and you'll be doing the same ol' shit 10 years down the road, if thats what you want.

on a happier note, i thoroughly enjoyed dinner last night with trish.

i love how sharing our musings tend to leave me feeling v saturated with love :) :)

the sem's starting to HEAT UP. work's beginning to pile up and im gonna die if i dont start being diligent in my readings.

this morning on the bus i also realized how important it is to know when to, and to be willing to part with our money.

my dad is truly awesome& im a proud daughter :) :)

we've got a lot to learn

2012-01-23T11:44:00.002+08:00

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR (:
this festive occasion has gradually lost its appeal since like a decade ago.
but its okay :) will make the best of it!!!!

we're all in purple ^^ heeheehee

note to self.

2012-01-22T23:57:00.003+08:00

angst

2012-01-22T02:50:00.001+08:00

the escapist in me just wants to freaking run away.

and not have to be answerable to anyone at all.

damn it.

remedy?

2012-01-22T02:13:00.003+08:00

and hurry too please.

doesnt help that im damn pmsy:/

i keep having this sinking feeling.

sweena's party was great nonetheless.

Truth is.

2012-01-18T10:52:00.002+08:00

sometimes the truth is ugly, maybe even hideous.

but its still the truth, plain and simple.

and building a safe bubble of isolation isnt gonna work for long.

sweena is love (: (: (: hehe.

i feel damn bad for assuming it was my brother and promptly proceeding back to my shower :(

damn touched anyway<3

kay school in abit.

im glad i found you. :)

zen

2012-01-17T13:07:00.000+08:00

i need to mug

2012-01-16T22:14:00.002+08:00

had a conversation today that really made me think.

im grateful for friends who force me to question stuff i take for granted.

and in the process offering a completely radical/refreshing perspective on stuff.

anyway im doing it again... not intentionally but even then it doesn't help at all.

siiiiiiiiigggggggghhhhhhhhh

WHY LIKE THAT

2012-01-16T08:42:00.000+08:00

when am i going to learn?

For once I feel wicked.

2012-01-15T02:33:00.003+08:00

Don't wish, Don't start

Wishing only wounds the heart.

"This is how you toss your hair. *toss toss* "

(Glinda) I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba) It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

loved the musical& the company (:

i wasn't expecting it to be touching but it was!

really enjoyed myself tonight:D

+ phone conversation <3

im going to bed a happy girl heehee(:

(or at least happier than normal)

2012-01-10T20:50:00.002+08:00

Mac MacGuff: In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.

Juno MacGuff: I sort of already have.

-Juno :)

i miss that movie(:

2012-01-09T10:02:00.002+08:00

"maybe you just need overwhelming love and concern to feel better"

"i can only give concern"

it helps to have such retarded friends <3 <3

today's officially the first day of school. please help me not spread germs to anyone:/

38.9

2012-01-08T21:43:00.002+08:00

HATE BEING SICK.

every time i cough, sneeze, or my head makes any slightly drastic movement,

I FEEL LIKE DYING cuz my brain just hurts like crap and id squint my eyes until the pain blows over.

need to get well in time for school tmr!!!!

2012-01-06T09:16:00.002+08:00

modules are finalized at last thank God. :)

right now all i really want to do is to go back to sleep.

caught up in your smile

2012-01-04T09:25:00.003+08:00

i'd forgotten what it feels like to be in love with someone who's in love with you.

sem2 starts in a few days' time. need to select my modules better + manage my time well this time round xD

started today well :) havent felt this peaceful in a while and im entirely to blame:/

need to stop letting myself wander off-track altogether.

loved time spent with grace yesterday as always:) :) :)

today's gonna be another bestfriends' day with claire then sweena&worm cant waittttttt(:

so grateful for the bestest bestfriends in the world i wonder how i got so lucky :'D

dinner with zah was great too. <3<3

overall really really glad to be back home(:

this year's gonna mark my 21st year of existence omg. time to wisen upppp

&introspection is key :)

2012

2012-01-02T23:31:00.002+08:00

down to the final week of vacation.

need to meet up with the people i <3!!

this year's gonna be... less haphazard :)

and happier too :)

tired as hell

2012-01-02T07:13:00.001+08:00

but at least i'm a happy girl:)

3weeks away is too damn long.

being home has revived me!!!

unintended

2011-12-27T22:28:00.005+08:00

make this feeling stopppp.

i knew this was what itd mean to love someone

but that doesnt make these things any easier to bear.

5days to home. come on, hurry up already:/

i didnt sign up for love.

2011-12-25T10:03:00.002+08:00

need to shake off this achy feeling.

maybe i should take a nap

i want to go to the swing.

merry christmas (:

2011-12-24T23:24:00.000+08:00

its okay.

i'm okay.

no longer your muse

2011-12-18T19:49:00.003+08:00

(in another life, i would make you stay)

i keep looping the one that got away :O

dont really enjoy plane rides much cuz i can hardly ever make myself comfortable enough to sleep for long.

am abit pmsy i think. making a conscious effort to not lose my head.

apart from stupid hormones i think i get jealous way too easily

which doesn't do a thing to help the situation.

i outrightly refuse to feel sour.

:) :) :)

i will make it a point to play my heart out.

poetic

2011-12-18T18:25:00.003+08:00

need to stop overthinking and enjoy myself instead.

mmmmmm :)

2011-12-17T08:50:00.002+08:00

discipline extends to your thoughts as well.

the week-long trip was fab but

i miss my besties.

someone like you(:

2011-12-10T21:53:00.002+08:00

severely sleep-deprived but the past few days/nights have been greattttt(:

my darling babysis is back from her trip, cheelets slept-over, and survivor camp (y)

i want to whine about holiday plans/flight timings but im absolutely drained of energy

gonna miss all my fabfriends while im overseas too

got a lot to say actually, maybe when i get to chiiiiiina or something.

NEED TO PACK.

那些年，我們一起追的女孩

2011-12-07T01:44:00.001+08:00

must watch this before it stops showing xD

2011-12-07T01:16:00.001+08:00

maybe its just me

brace yourself for love

2011-12-06T13:42:00.002+08:00

i get slightly irritated when lyrics are wrong :/

been rediscovering the many songs i used to be so in love with!!

and chancing upon new ones at the same time :D

my songs library desperately needs a revamp.

heehee bestfriend time tonight(:

whoa ive only like 2 proper days left in sg before chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiina.

need to play till my heart's content (:

and then hopefully get to china and play somemore xD

one step closer

2011-12-06T02:39:00.002+08:00

today(or rather, yesterday) was wonderful((((:

missed claire SO MUCH.

finally finally got to catch up(:

my personal time capsule XD

i love how i never have to everrrrrr worry about being judged hahahaha♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

this morning when i had some time to idle (cuz ICA took way shorter than expected:D),

i theorized that relationships with people kinda work on the same principle of idiosyncratic credits(just like within a working group).

when it comes to tolerating rubbish we kinda give more leeway to people who have earned (gained?) our favor before. seems very much parallel to the idea of a love bank too.

loved tonight as well(: threesome time is always amazing heehee♥♥♥

i love how we never seem to ever be done talking hahaha:D

TIME FOR BED. its damn late. long day (comprising of going out!!!) again tmr heehee.

goodnight(:

Mistletoe!

2011-12-05T10:49:00.003+08:00

LOVE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS. esp the purple ones :DDDD

i <3 my brother heeeheee hes so much fun to be around and he totally understands me(:

and hes always freaking retarded._.

never thought id be saying this so soon but

im tired from going out so much :o

also, all my kaching has been going with the wind ITS WORRYING.

need to get down to writing christmas cards if thats gonna materialize this year hahahaha.

this is gonna be a great week heehee meet-ups and more meet-ups<3<3<3

i need to sleep more though.

latest earworm (:

cant wait to see claire:) ITS BEEN LIKE. A FREAKING LIFETIME.

i think i'll be brave, starting with you.

2011-12-04T01:39:00.003+08:00

life is good(:

loveeeeeee meeting the people i love.

some things need to go

2011-12-01T11:14:00.001+08:00

must stop harping on stupid things.

i'm irritating myself IF THATS EVEN POSSIBLE.

today's gonna be a great day (:

fall for you

2011-12-01T02:20:00.003+08:00

loved today(: spent time with a few of my favourite people in the world(:

sometimes i wish for so much

when i really ought to be content with what i've been blessed with.

freeeeeeeedom

2011-11-30T14:25:00.003+08:00

this morning's essays were shit-_-

i didnt have in-depth understand of my readings/films sooooooooo

the essays were rlly superficial :( and MESSY as well my ideas were just all over the place ><

BUT WHATEVS ITS OVER no point moping right.

just play first xD

HEHE(: (: (: (: it hasnt sunken in that exams are over yet. i still feel abit lost hahaha.

but its okay the euphoria will kick in soon enough.

btw im having the mother of ALL cramps.

OKAY BYE GRACE IS FINALLY HERE :D

♥.♥

2011-11-29T20:24:00.003+08:00

i love the way you make me feel when i'm with youuu

christmas lights are up!!!

FAVOURITE TIME OF THE YEARRRRR(:

also cannot wait for girlfriend time tmrrrrrrrrr((((((((((((:

FOLLOWED BY THREESOME TIME OMG <3<3<3

okay but for now, 2218 first.

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

breathe

2011-11-28T13:52:00.005+08:00

DILEMMAS.

i dont like feeling caught in between

because having to take into account a friend's feelings means i cant be too harsh.

but at the same time i know that the advice i offer isnt exactly

what id give myself should it be me in an identical situation.

._.

"The White Man's Burden"

2011-11-27T20:07:00.003+08:00

watching webcasts for 2218 is making me realize that its actlly a fairly interesting module :P

i also like our lecturer's sense of humor :)

and i realize how arrogant and self-conceited human beings are :/

3 days 3 days 3 daysssssss

sitting my ass down for so long is taking up every single ounce of self-discipline in me

im not even kidding._.

DAMN RESTLESS ALREADY

and i cant wait for pretty nails hehehe WEDNESDAY 11AM PLEASE COME SOON PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE <3

(:

2011-11-27T01:03:00.002+08:00

matthew 6: 15

i need to be a better person.

not by my own strength thoughhhh.

must must must remember my daily bread

and let my life depend on it.

also, i wish i had all the time in the world to bask in your companyyyyyy

hehe thatd be so awesome rlly.

tmr shall be hardcore mugging day lets go nozzle 8)

old songs are love:)

2011-11-25T12:25:00.003+08:00

Fate fell short this time
Your smile fades in the summer
Place your hand in mine
I'll leave when I wanna

need to stop overthinking!!

such a waste of my life.

its FRIDAY FRIDAY

2011-11-25T11:27:00.004+08:00

shall make a list of people i MUST&NEED TO spend time with before i disappear for like 3 freaking weeksss.

trish(:

worm&sweena x394839037489234

GRACEEEEEEE x8949837045839465834 also NEVER ENOUGH.

claire

huipei&jiaquan

izzah&tricia

fiona

isis

TINY&RO

pern!

shaniceeeee

katrin!!

MS CHEAK

zhixian(:

faith

i have a feeling there're more.

I CANT FREAKING WAITTTTT :D

schedule for post exam is starting to fill up :DDDDDD

((((:

yesterday was spent with the wife<3 <3 <3

BEST DAY OF MY WEEK TOO HEHEHE

havent felt so happy and retarded in a while ^^

and dinner at wild honey was yumzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

experimented with the hair curler. was hilarious hahahahahahahah

i absofreakinglutely love my bestfriends(:

WORM&SWEENA I CANT WAIT TO SEE YALL<3 <3 <3

BTW i found a freaking funny convo from years ago.

shall dig it up after my paper on wednesday xD

OKAY my email+attachments is taking forever to send out. so annoying.

ALSO, i think its irritating that people are shameless enough to self-invite. like really?

-_- subtlety is wasted on you.

need to stop being angsty BYE.

Let your love be strong.

2011-11-23T23:38:00.003+08:00

so tired and irritable:(((((((

why must you annoy me again. WHY?

incredulous.

3240 was shit this evening sigh:(

but at least im 2 essays from freedom.

mmmm my head feels like a whirlpool right now.

ily.

(:

2011-11-23T10:35:00.005+08:00

i thank God for gracepangsh<3

SORRY WAS DAMN BITCHY LAST NIGHT HAHAHA

(my threshold for people and their irritatingness (?!) plunges when im THIS stressed.

and you of all people should freaking recognize this by now-_-)

I LUFF YOU NOZZLE. (:

wanted to kill myself for two reasons yesterday.

1. my acronym METHD was for huntington's but i threw it into my parkinson's essay. champ.

should have listened to my gut feeling damnit it didnt feel right but i stubbornly went ahead:(((

2. classical criminologist cesare beccaria(1764) wasnt a sociologist in the last 100 years. FREAK FREAK FREAK.

my gpa for AY2011/12 S1 will be like. 0.4 :( sigh.

i feel like banging my head against the wall.

group dynamics later.

STUDY. BYE.

im going to die

2011-11-22T21:06:00.003+08:00

from caffeine overdose.

during dinner when dad was saying grace and he went like

"please teach anthea to know what is good for her health and teach her not to spam coffee..."

hahahah. dad<3

i hope id fall asleep tonight!!!!!!!!! throughout today i srsly drank coffee like there's no tomorrow cuz i had like 4hrs of sleep to sustain me through 2 papers :/

rawr. its so weird to abruptly transit from memorizing(biopsych) to writing artsy essays(deviance)!!!!

my essays mustve been pretty weird:( i didnt have that good feeling after i finished today:/

the kind you get after making a conceptual leap/awesome conclusion that allows you to reconcile two seemingly contradicting views etccccccccccc.

ohwell.

ive been so absolutely unprepared for finals id only have myself to blame.

on a happier note,

SERENA IS BACKKKKKKKKK.

cant wait to see you((((((((:

sunday cant come soon enough heheheh(: (: (:

in another 24hrs' i'd be left with one last paper.

IM GONNA STUDY DAMN HARD FOR IT.

i havent spent time on the readings/films all sem :/

hahaha.

will study hard(y)

i feel so tired.

and im sorry to say im rather disappointed in you.

you cant tell me sth like that and expect me not to feel angry

thats asking for too much.

im biting my tongue so i wont say anything that would disappoint them too.

but im rlly angry with you. really.

im so incoherent my brain has officially stopped functioning.

i think i need my sleep

bye blog

freaking out

2011-11-21T21:33:00.002+08:00

in 24 hours' my brain would feel so damn tired ><

but by then i'd be halfway through my papers.

i feel so majorly screwed for biopsych cuz seriously i believe i only know 1/4 of everything i ought to have mastered.

and theres hardly time to cram everything too.

GOD, HELP.

i miss you already:/

also, november, please end soon.

all kinds of deeper wonderment (:

2011-11-20T16:56:00.002+08:00

infinity

these made me smile:)

just 10 days and i'll be done.

need to make this count.

these are the nights

2011-11-18T22:12:00.002+08:00

Our bodies to hand with the Jersey shoreline
Connecting the tide to the sand that was dry
And we both laid entwined, stared at the night
Clouds overhead, but that was all right
Cause then and there, the wind in your hair
Heaven was jealous to merely look fair against you
And all I need now is this moon to keep light in its desolate skyline for good

Cause these are the nights that you know when youre there
You couldn't have planned it much better I swear and you hope
That your senses aren't failing you now, but they're slipping away

So divine is this happening
Cant I just graze your skin
For the rest of our time
But time isn't letting this night go on
Till then and there, the wind in your hair
Nothing in this world could keep me from staring at you
And all I need now is that sun to stay under its glowing horizon for good, whoaoaoa

Cause these are the nights that you know when youre there
You couldn't have planned it much better I swear and you hope
That your senses arent failing you now
And you think to yourself now I could be wrong
But I might have just stolen this scene from a song and you know
That your senses aren't failing you now

You could get lost in a night like this
So empty your thoughts and open your heart to the bliss

These are the nights that you know when youre there
You couldn't have planned it much better I swear and you hope
That your senses aren't failing you now
And you think to yourself now I could be wrong
But I might have just stolen this scene from a song and you know
That your senses aren't failing you now

Cause these are the nights, these are the nights
These are the nights, these are the nights

songs like this give me room to dream unrealistic dreams (:

its like anchoring-and-adjusting to conjure some strange and beautiful concept of romance.

i miss the days when i didnt give a shit.

when i refused to conform to everyone else's idea of how important grades were.

hehe. im not proud of it but i can say that i genuinely enjoyed myself :)

one thing i knew for certain was that there would never be another time in my life where i could have the liberty of screwing things up with no (major) consequence whatsoever.

am secretly glad i was such a rebel xD

on another note, today sucked in terms of productivity.

like really :/

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

tmr night kay (y) i'll make up for today(:

and then sunday tooooooooooooooooooooo.

CAN.DO.THIS.

fast class tmr, i need to memorize my verses hehehe

nights

my solid ground

2011-11-17T12:17:00.004+08:00

at least yesterday was a rainbow day :) :)

thanks for telling me about the rainbow or i wouldnt even have noticed.

hehe.

im so grateful for the awesome friends i have :')

"praying for you and if there is anything i can do

to make your life easier all you got to do is ask"

dear God, You always find ways to let me know im loved.

You're really closer than i sometimes think..

also, this is exactly what i need right now.

note to self

2011-11-17T07:15:00.000+08:00

GET USED TO IT.

really.

IM STRONGER THAN THIS

2011-11-16T20:20:00.001+08:00

theboyswho.tumblr.com is such a cute collection:D

mugging is D E P R E S S I N G .

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( all the frownies in the world :(

paradoxical

2011-11-14T17:40:00.005+08:00

happy/glum
thrilled/burdened

exams suck the life out of me i swear.
but i'll get through thisssssss:) :) :)
and i'll be happy as a lark before i know it!

saturday's sermon rlly was timely.

pretty in purple(:

this is seriously absolutely gorgeous.

happy birthday mommy:)

k back to my books.

rawr

just wanna see my reflection in your eyes.

2011-11-09T19:06:00.006+08:00

<3 been so long since i heard this song:)

just got off the phone with sweena.

i missed that voice so much :') i cannot cannot cannot wait for you to be homeeeeeeeeee.

youre halfway through already (: (:

we will def spend time kay dont worry!!

<33333

met someone today who told me he might wanna try attending my church. :)

we'll see how that goes!

daddy fixed up the wifi for my side before flying off. ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

thanks dad youre the best seriouslyY

was having a nice chat with grandma last night.

and i realized, daddy's really the man with the biggest heart that i know :D

always always putting other people before himself. WILL I EVER BE AS SELFLESS...

anyways the people around me have been absolute darlings(: FEEL DAMN LOVED :)

i need to study.

just submitted 2218 group proj. now theres 2132 report and 2218 indiv.

CAN DO THISSSSSSSSS.

just found out from my groupmates that theres no 2218 tut tmr. yay(:

if i hadnt found out id be in school 2hrs early tmr -_-

okay bye blog :)

2011-10-02T23:32:00.002+08:00

i miss you.
and this feels foreign.
its not like i dont miss people, but its different.
when it involves a guy, its always a different feeling.

and i dont like my emotions to be this vulnerable and subjected to another person's presence/proximity to me.
omg.
i really cant stand it.
D:

college life is nothing short of madness
and i am going crazy.

i need to come back to You, Lord.
been running away the past week and it feels awful.
Jesus, take the wheel.

and just like that

2011-09-19T01:09:00.002+08:00

all my walls
come
down.

something about you gets me like nobody.

again im scared.

afterall, just because you've gotten your heart broken before,
doesnt mean you wouldnt bear to do that to another, right?

life will never be perfect, and i should stop thinking there'd be a right time for love.
also need to stop being so freakin scared of getting hurt.
my fear is unbearably stifling.

time will tell, so why dont we just wait on time? :)
your smile is too cute :>

praise You in the storm.

2011-09-09T08:42:00.002+08:00

people i care about need to stop falling apart...

this feeling of fatigue needs to be addressed.

and screw studying la.
i havent studied in a week.
been so busy with everything else..
i will spend my 2hrs after meeting grace, SLEEPING.
i need my sleep so bad.

studying can wait till sunday.
i will devote the entire afternoon-evening to studying.

GOD YOU NEED TO HELP ME,
IM DROWNING HEREEEEE

also need to stop pushing people away.
sigh.

anthea needs fixing!!!

first things first,
settle cell worship and cell lesson.

everything will be fine:)

2011-09-02T01:03:00.002+08:00

just spent a large proportion of my evening reading, not my notes or my textbooks, but about the lives of people in love.
again im overwhelmed by envy, i miss having someone who means that much.
i miss having someone who feels responsible for making me laugh.

sure, the pain might be intense and at times too much to bear.
but really, stories like these remind me of how cowardly i've become.
ever too cautious.
but i've grown too comfortable here in my safe little bubble of singlehood to risk getting myself all torn up again cuz i never wanna go through hell again.
once you've walked on the burning coals that sear your soles through to your soul,
it'd take someone so much more to make you willing to even put yourself in the situation of having to brave the agony again.
if ever again, i know its gonna take so so so much.
so much of everything, especially guts.

i keep pushing people away. it doesnt feel good, but im not someone who would lead a guy into thinking he has the remotest chance when i know for a fact he doesnt.

im probably just gonna end up dying alone. with 49cats.
but i prefer dogs.

dogs it shall be :D

you had your chance, you blew it

2011-08-30T22:59:00.000+08:00

out of sight, out of mind

makes my heart beat fast

2011-08-19T11:17:00.003+08:00

at this point in time,
i feel like...
i cant get enough of you.

absolutely.need.to see you more.

tread slowly, im not at all ready to be disappointed.

your cutesy smile keeps playing in my head:) :) :)
giggleslikearetard

dont make someone your priority if you're just an option.

2011-08-16T10:31:00.002+08:00

Nuff said:)

i know you wont see this but,
stay strong my dearest girl(:
youre gonna be fine im so sure of it.
keep your chin up and dare to take chances
cuz life will only surprise you when you do.
<3

like a boomeranggg

2011-08-14T23:42:00.000+08:00

The fire was out
But then the phone rang.
And all of the heat came back again.
As much as I try
You're hard to resist
All that it takes is just one kiss

And I'm putty in your hands
I'm under your spell
You send me spinning

You pull me in close,You throw me away
I keep coming back like a boomerang.
You tell me to go,You beg me to stay.
I keep coming back like a boomerang
Around, around, around and back again.
Around, around, around and back again.

You're treating me like I'm your little toy
You tell me I'm not like other boys.
The next thing I know you toss me aside
You don't even bother with "Goodbye"s.

But when you say, "Hello"...I can't ignore you
You send me spinning.

You pull me in close, You throw me away
I keep coming back like a boomerang.
You tell me to go, You beg me to stay.
I keep coming back like a boomerang
Around, around, around and back again.
Around, around, around and back again
Around, around, around and back again.
Around, around, around and back again.

Boom,Boom,Boom
And now my heart is racing
Boom,Boom,Boom
And after you I'm chasing
Boom,Boom,Boom
You got to catch me when i fall.
You send me spinning

You pull me in close,You throw me away
I keep coming back like a boomerang.
You tell me to go,You beg me to stay.
I keep coming back like a boomerang
Around, around, around and back again.
Around, around, around and back again.
Around, around, around and back again.
Around, around, around and back again.

hold me now

2011-08-14T10:14:00.003+08:00

thank God for friends who care:) :) :)

heeheee its rlly funny how i never allow myself to fall too hard for any one!!!
precaution has proven helpful^^
was talking to my darling sister for hours last night:) :) rlly enjoyed catching up and confiding in her&vice versa. human interaction is essential to life, really.
sis thinks that while its safe to guard my heart the way i do, im missing out on the rush, the butterflies, that thrill that comes with letting someone in that deep, that boldly.
i think this verse from come find me encapsulates it pretty well:P

I've always been so careful with my footstep
So safe, so delicate
I let my heart lose to my head
But look at where that got me
Letting love just pass me by, Missin' out on butterflies
I wanna feel it now, so if you're out there waitin'

woohooo gonna donate blood soon:) but andrew only just woke up-_-
i love my church friends(:

i'll break my heart in two, more times than you could ever do

2011-08-12T09:20:00.003+08:00

i'm wishing it all away.

rather not think about you.
no one gets to dictate my happiness!not even you.
:)

need to prep for tonight's lesson cuz im teachingg.
dont know why i always get so scared._.
silly me.

dont come back for me, dont come back at all

2011-08-10T16:50:00.002+08:00

who do you think you are
running round leaving scars
collecting your jar of hearts
and tearing love apart

time always, always tells, doesnt it?
sigh!

don't touch the positive with the negative end
cause after all of the sparks you're still alone in the dark

i had forgotten how much i loved this song^:)

story of my life

2011-08-08T01:24:00.002+08:00

(http://poeticheartache.tumblr.com/)

hope that doesn't ever end.

2011-08-05T22:07:00.002+08:00

you would think that by the time one is 20 they wouldnt be affected by such stuff.

sadly, that isnt the case with me.

im still as silly, my temper as volatile, and still not half as zen as i'd like to be.

i'm so overly emotional i feel like killing myself sometimes.

come on anthea be mature already.

dont let your feelings override your thinking.

------------------------------------------

and my heart melts too damn easily. its ridiculous._.

i just try my darnest best not to show it but my insides have really gone all soft,

nearly aching even, and im racking my brains for some way to reciprocate somehow.

on another note, im so glad my modules have finally been settled:)

THANK YOU SO MUCH DEAR GOD. 4 vacancies and i only had 300+ points, my heart was palpitating with anxiety for much of the day. and when i saw that the number of bidders going uppppp i practically lost all hope of getting my fifth module.

but thank You, things always work out when i entrust them in Your hands.

if only i remember to do that all the time, life would be so carefree.

i cant wait to see you.

but i've lost faith in shit like that after all these time that i dont even know what to think or expect.

we'll see.

heart of glass

2011-07-26T03:35:00.003+08:00

3.36am and i'm wide awake

my mind keeps racing about

you, make me falter make me crumble

i'm like putty in your hands

...

nights like these make me wanna curl up and cry.

i hate when im forced to see the mess that i actually am.

i hate that though forgiven and healed, the scars would

forever serve as a cruel reminder of my mistakes.

God im so sorry i keep running away

i dont mean to.

im coming back i am.

i'll acknowledge my issues properly

i'll sort out my priorities

this cant go on any longer

i cant keep falling off the wagon

"So if I stand let me stand on the promise that You will pull me through

And if I can't let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You"

bring me back to You.

2011-07-21T12:15:00.002+08:00

okay YOU. just stop it already.

talking to you makes me feel all crabby.

so scroooooo off. and you have no right to get all pissy at me. no right at all.

stayed up to watch Extraordinary People last night

and im just so fascinated and blown away by them.

especially conjoined twins Abigail and Brittany Hensel.

they are truly amazing and THE epitome of teamwork.

off to work soon. having to teach 2 lessons consecutively this sabbath is stressing me out abit.

furthermore my spiritual walk hasnt been in the best of states. ugh anthea-_-

im positive that im pmsing and that rlly sucks its lke you know it and youre aware of it and you can try to think happy thoughts/have a positive outlook on things but that doesnt mean that youre gonna be able to feel a ton better coz the freaking hormones are just THERE and they are messing with your(or my, actually) head.

ditzy girlfriend time did make me feel better last night, and some bestfriends time tonight will be good cheering up too i hope :)

i feel like a faulty good. the kind thats been rejected by the customer upon delivery and returned back to the stores? ugh i know i need to stop having these thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111

you have my ♥

2011-07-19T11:29:00.002+08:00

Here I was again tonight forcing laughter, faking smiles
Same old tired, lonely place
Walls of insincerity
Shifiting eyes and vancancy vanished when I saw your face
All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you

Your eyes whispered "have we met?"
Across the room your silhouette starts to make it's way to me
The playful conversation starts
Counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy
And it was enchanting to meet you
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

The lingering question kept me up
2am, who do you love?
I wonder till I'm wide awake
Now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door
I'd open up and you would say,
It was enchanting to meet you
All I know is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

This is me praying that this was the very first page
Not where the story line ends
My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again
These are the words I held back as I was leaving too soon
I was enchanted to meet you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you

-----------------------------------------------

its weird to say this but

this song speaks my heart.

been so long since i felt anything like that for someone.

and i cant bear to put myself out there because i hate feeling vulnerable

so many what-ifs running through my mind. :(

really sad about postponing ____ :(

"BUT I WANNA PLAY WITH HIM"

"NO MEANS NO."

its k. no point fighting.

school starts in less than 3 weeks, and work ends in 9(working) days incl today.

cant waitttttttttttttttt.

dont go. i dont want you to go.

your kisses taste sweet like wine

2011-07-11T10:19:00.002+08:00

feeling SO conflicted.

driving test later todayyyyyyyyyyy, im semi freaking out! hahaha.

sigh.

am hating this tugging ache):

on a happier note,

I DECLARED MY MAJORRRRRRRRRR!!:D

finally, officially a psych student(:

i declared soci minor too! hahaha.

but that isnt sth i have to stick to, its rlly just for fun, cuz soci's rlly interesting:D

they say that dreams tell of your heart's desires,

i personally do not buy that-_-

dreams are merely jumbled and extrapolated thoughts that were drifting about in the recesses of your consciousness, or unconsciousness!

cant believe im saying this, but im kinda excited for school to start.

cant wait to learn all the super fascinating stuff that constitute psych.

sucha geek at heart B)

omgosh and i wanna read so many books!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i need to make time for them.

ok b

i never...

2011-07-04T01:16:00.002+08:00

really fell in love again.

I CANT DO THIS.

with you, all i do is tether near the edge

only to scurry back to safety at any hint of gravity.

maybe you should just go away-.-

i've gotten so used to being independent that i do not foresee myself needing someone else to 'complete' me. what a cheesy line.

today's gathering in the afternoon was great, full of warmth and genuine care, yet overall there was a light-heartedness to it:)

i love you, and i'm so proud of you bestfriend:)

i thank God for placing you in my life. i dare say i wouldve grown up significantly differently if i didnt have you to mentor and guide and prompt and remind and above all, to show by example, God's love in your life by sincerely living the life of a God-loving and God-fearing christian:)

#head over heart

2011-06-14T23:44:00.002+08:00

but the truth is that we wont even try.

i was enchanted to meet you
but thats all its gonna be.

its a pity, fear wont let me cross that line.

i guess its safe to say

2011-06-11T22:50:00.001+08:00

im officially missing you.

the battle

2011-03-06T12:41:00.003+08:00

head vs heart...

i dont like the way i'm feeling :( :( :(
at all.

how long more can i resist?!
ugh ANTHEA.

midterms made me realize how much i've NOT been doing
and how much catching up i rlly have to do.
i cant be reading so many things for the first time just hours before my paper...
not anymore.
will take this lesson as a good wake up call.

im glad we're starting bible study again:)
need to get my learning back on track!

why does it rain, rain, rain
down on utopia?

break my heart for what breaks yours

2011-03-05T00:13:00.003+08:00

im so glad God has brought me through this week... relatively sane and unscathed:)
there were a few points in time i felt like i was gonna freaking explode right there and then.
praying rlly makes me feel truckloads better cuz after surrendering everything to God, im only obliged to do all i can.

and. im certain i wouldve fared much worse (while attempting to paper that is)
without DIVINE HELP.

its times of weakness and need that i realize and am reminded yet again
of how vulnerable, how pathetic and limited we human beings are..
and then i think of the awesome One who made me.
and i dont feel half as bad
:)

time for bed <3

let go and let God

2011-02-20T21:27:00.003+08:00

17th feb 2011
tgf: helping me find the cards from my wallet which i thought i'd lost.

so many upcoming exams.... :(
i really wanna thank God for the timely reminder of His promise to never forsake us.
the lesson on resilience, so aptly timed, and its too cool to be coincidental.
again im in awe of You:)
i will get back on track, and i'll surrender my life into Your Sovereign hands once again.
i'll stop trying to be in control, so please, take the wheel.

help me, and help me to help myself.
please keep the people i love safe and happy too:)

2011-02-17T00:43:00.002+08:00

just rewatched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind,
and i was blown away once again.

made me recall the heartache that lovers experience when they part.
that has gotta be the worst feeling ever!

today i'm grateful that my parents took me out for dinner,
and that i got to sleep at home.

ive got much to do tmr!!!
and friday.

Joel: [in the house on the beach] I really should go! I've gotta catch my ride.
Clementine: So go.
Joel: I did. I thought maybe you were a nut... but you were exciting.
Clementine: I wish you had stayed.
Joel: I wish I had stayed too. NOW I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had... I wish I had stayed. I do.
Clementine: Well I came back downstairs and you were gone!
Joel: I walked out, I walked out the door!
Clementine: Why?
Joel: I don't know. I felt like I was a scared little kid, I was like... it was above my head, I don't know.
Clementine: You were scared?
Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation.
Clementine: Was it something I said?
Joel: Yeah, you said "so go." With such disdain, you know?
Clementine: Oh, I'm sorry.
Joel: It's okay.
[Walking Out]
Clementine: Joely? What if you stayed this time?
Joel: I walked out the door. There's no memory left.
Clementine: Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.
[Joel comes back]
Clementine: Bye Joel.
Joel: I love you...
Clementine: Meet me... in Montauk...

HOW SAD.
okay need to stop indulging in doing nothing....... havent done shit since yesterday.
bye

i'm permanent.

2011-02-15T18:32:00.002+08:00

hello there:)

so i forgot about writing a happy event every day, whoooooops.
and then during today's lecture on emotions &affect,the lecturer included this slide called 'The secret of happiness'
1. realize that happiness doesn't come from success
2. take control of your time
3. have ample sleep
4. act happy
5. give priority to close relationships
6. help others
7. nurture your spiritual self
8. keep a gratitude journal

and lets just say im glad one assignment's finally out of the way!
and im glad that im finally, slowly letting God back into my life.(like proper, cuz you know how one can say a prayer and not feel a thing, and read the scriptures just for the sake of it.)
stuck in the pit and it looks so bleak
but i gotta climb my way out of this!!!
with the help of people i love, its gonna happen:)
when theres hope, theres a way.

p.s. gratitude journal starts, too:)

light up, light up

2011-01-31T11:29:00.002+08:00

im here after so long, because i have this nagging ache in my heart that
#1 i cant for the life of me explain and
#2 i cant get rid of even after days of trying.

i might be depressed. or something.

i know there are many things to be brokenhearted about,
but thats not why im here actually.

i'm trying to think or ways to cheer myself up (along with the help of friends&family i love of course) by thinking of something to be happy about everyday.
and something to thank God for.

so lets see how this works out, maybe i'd be more aware of all the good things in my life than i've ever been, who knows:)
theres gotta be a way out of this!!
see you tonight bloggie. till then:)

2010-12-14T02:07:00.001+08:00

so much for sleeping early, its now 2am hahahahaha
but its okay, htht with daddy is worth the sleep deprivation(:
nights world

inside of Love!

2010-12-13T16:19:00.003+08:00

so so so glad i went for anntic'10, made many many new friends, of whom many are super nice and among whom there are angelic beings im not even kidding:)

"friends are friends forever, if the Lord's the Lord of them" so im really excited about nurturing these friendships mmmm (:

anntic's rlly broadened my perspective in so many ways and on so many levels, the very fact that the discussions catapult you into a series of thought-provoking questioning and debating serves the role of making scripture, God's word, and the history behind it fascinating and captivating. which is essentially the attitude i was wanting to adopt :) its amazing how despite having so many varying emphasis and interpretations of God's word, and despite the different practices, CF-ers can still amicably come together as one single entity, as a body of Christ, to worship and fellowship and learn more about God's character. its marrrrrvelous:D

another take-away was the exposure to available resources for studying the Bible with.. something i was sadly, rather oblivious to before.

enjoyed the crazy things we did, the meals, the hthts, the intense and enjoyable fellowship, and above all, the presence of God in our midst, as the center of what we lived and breathed for 6 days!!

despite the initial feelings of fear and apprehension.. im glad that passed!

God has amazed me once again

i want to worship You forever

so please keep me by Your side.

looking forward to meeting claire tonight(:

so so so happy about her baptism 2days back!

shes getting her ears pierced too!:D cant wait xD

God is good

2010-12-01T03:03:00.001+08:00

Lyrics | Alanis Morissette - Wunderkind lyrics

omg watching narnia #1 (the lion the witch and the wardrobe) made me cry

hahaha.

i love narnia i loveeeee narnia. and the part about sacrifice and love struck me so hard.

cant wait for 2nd dec:)

to have and to hold

2010-11-15T00:33:00.002+08:00

so, all the dust is settling.

and come tmr, i will finally have time to get down to mugging..........

mark finley's crusade, a&a's wedding, anrc dinner, other misc stuff are OVERRRRRR:)

time to study.

i only have ONE WEEK. omg ONE WEEK....

to cram everything and digest all of it.

but I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!!!!

so go anthea seit yy you can do it:) :) :)

on another note, this morning + tonight was fun;D

plus i love weddings:D

okay byebye goodnight, have to go to sgh tmr morning zzzz

all the love in the world!

2010-11-12T23:25:00.003+08:00

GUSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:D :D :D

cutestboyalive@hotmail.com

hahahahah

im crazy.

okay this weekend is gonna packed with church, rehearsal, wedding, charity dinner

=no time to study.

but when monday comes, time to really go crazy.

go me go us!!!! jiayou darlings(:

i feel so so so so happy when people get baptized:) :)

its just this indescribable joy/relief at the knowledge that someone has come to understand the love of Christ in a very special way and has decided to commit his/her life to him.

looking forward to the 60+ baptisms tmr!!!! heheheh lets hope i dont get bored towards the end.

but even if i do, i'd still be rejoicing xD

God is awesomezzzzzzz(:

lift this burden.

2010-11-10T00:16:00.003+08:00

so, this is what i've read about, and what i've been warned of...

still doesnt make it any easier.

i need this feeling to go away... D:

very down.

the way i'm dealing affirms thoroughly my suspicion of how tight-lipped i am about asking help from others.

i think maybe i just need a good night's rest:)

i must do my devotion tmr.

need to draw strength from God's word.

dear God, you made us social creatures, meant for relationships, but why this?

i cant bear the hurt :(

i read that the experiences of psychological/social and physical hurt demonstrate identical neural activity patterns, no wonder this feels so damn awful.

You gotta help me soothe this ache, i cant do it on my own.

okayyy time for bed soon, nights:)

a promise i'm claiming

2010-11-07T11:04:00.001+08:00

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40: 29-31

2010-11-07T00:29:00.001+08:00

i cant sustain myself forever!!

im not all that self-reliant.

i need You, God.

2010-11-05T08:31:00.004+08:00

Dear Father in Heaven,

I'm not going to ask why You allowed this to happen,

nor will I ask why it had to be her.

I know stuff like this happen as a result of Sin,

and You have indeed done something to rectify that.

But God, You have to know how broken-hearted I feel right now.

You must be aware of how much of an angel she is.

You can definitely tell how unjust I feel that a tragedy as such befalls someone like her.

But I am in no position to question Your sovereign will, so I will not.

God, above all things, I just ask that You prepare that heart of hers, please.

I just ask that she will come to know You.

I just want to know that I will see her again one day when You return.

I just need that assurance that she will be happier one day, as she should be.

This burning ache in my heart is excruciating and I wish I could just do something to stop it.

I wish there was something I could do, Lord.

In Philippians 4:6 You said,

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

And this, Lord, is my sincere petition to You. This is a plea for help, so hear my cries, and mend our hearts.

Lord, give her the strength to carry on..

You know how devastated she is, and You alone can comfort her and drown out her sorrows with Your Love and assurance.

Help me, help us know what to do because we need You now, as we always do.

And I just want to entrust her into Your hands. Please Lord, I want to see her in eternity.

Touch her heart and let her feel You in her life.

There's nothing I can really do to help, but You, can do anything and everything.

I'm asking for a miracle, God, and I know You have something great in-store for her life.

We will do what we can, and You will do the rest.

Help us also to see this in a better light, Lord, and not just as a death sentence.

Help us to see this as a chance to bring her to You, and as an opportunity to glorify You and bring more into Your arms of love.

Comfort her and make her feel loved, dear Jesus, help her in ways that only You can.

I pray that she will be happy, Lord.

The sense of peace and joy that comes only from You.

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

beautiful beyond description

2010-11-03T00:53:00.004+08:00

remember what God said about lukewarm christians?

i need to stop being one.

your actions have to echo your beliefs,

otherwise its not gonna make you any different from anyone.

and my attitude needs to be reconciled with my knowledge

knowledge of Christ-likeness, knowledge of the instructions He's given.

today's talk addressed end-time signs found in the Bible and how these correspond with whats going on in the world now.

the signs from what i can recall, just so i'll have it recorded!

1)false christs& false prophets& cults rapidly growing [wicca! & dozens of people have proclaimed themselves as jesus christ by now]

2)wars& conflicts on a global scale[WWI and II happened only in the 20th century, and 180(?) trillion people have died from war alone in the 20th century. number of wars unprecedented]
3)fragile peace agreements/treaties between countries that end up waging wars against each other anyway

4)potential for world destruction[nuclear weaponry etc, Jesus will come before the world gets annihilated by mankind]

5)famines

6)pestilences

7)earthquakes[number of earthquakes in recent years have gone off the charts. its crazy!]

8)moral decay[matthew 24:37]

9)violence

10)economic uncertainty

11)increased knowledge[90% of all scientists and ____(omg i cant rmb, researchers??) who ever existed are living in this day and age]

12)gospel preached to all the world [matthew 24:14]

hope i can get my hands on the dvd, cuz

"good things must share!"

God really is thoughtful huh, telling us beforehand what is to come..

so we wont be taken aback, and we wont have to fear the unknown cuz

we've already placed out hopes in Him = things of the earth dont matter so much.

i wonder if im doing something wrong, that prayer hasnt been answered:(

but i'll be patient, dear God, Your plan and Your timing owns mine upside-down.

and ive been rather irritable today. i blame pms.

goodnight world:)

tmr should be the day i begin to study!! exams are SO scarily near:O

2010-11-02T09:47:00.001+08:00

youre so damn selfish.
and i think im pmsing.

mmm recipe for volcanic eruption.

&when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for awhile

2010-11-02T03:00:00.002+08:00

eyecandyyyyyyyyy:D :D :D

so fun to gush over cute boy(s)

i need to start studying!!!

light it up, like its dynamite!

2010-11-02T00:50:00.003+08:00

awestruck:)

the moment i made up my mind to follow Jesus, i knew it wasnt an emotional decision, nor an impulsive, uninformed one.

life still has its ups and downs, but i'm just so eternally grateful for my wonderful saviour who has promised never to leave me alone, ever.
it makes everything so much more worthwhile, especially the troughs.

SO HAPPY I COULD CRY:)

thats how i felt today, when pastor finley reiterated all the historical evidences that prove the integrity of the bible.

the world could crumble tonight i'd die happy(:

anyway, the point of chronicling tonight is so i'll remember this spiritual high i'm experiencing right now should i feel down/dejected one day.

i love you God:) :) :)

all choked up

2010-10-30T10:36:00.002+08:00

so wrapped up!!!

i realise i do indeed keep to myself quite alot:/

WHY LIKE THAAAAAAAAAAAT.

am excited for MF from monday though:)

ugh dear God please remove my stage fright later :( :(

i miss claireeeee :(

& grace pang.

WISH I COULD SAY I WAS BORED sigh

so many things to do.

so why am i holding back?

2010-10-29T23:19:00.001+08:00

I've seen tidal waves
People washed away
Seen the towers fall
Trust me, I've seen it all

Hurricanes have come
Entire cities gone
Snowing in July
And no one can tell me why

I give you a million reasons to leave
But you don't give up
Keep calling my phone
But I don't pick up
Couldn't see you with me
That sounds crazy

So why am I holding back?
'Cause crazier things have happened
So why not give us a try?
Why not give love a chance?
'Cause crazier things have happened
And take it from me
Crazier things have happened

Bombs are going off
All our soldiers lost
And who pays the cost?
It doesn't make sense at all

I am just a girl
I can't change the world
'Cause it's way too tough
So maybe I'll start with love

I give you a million reasons to leave
But you don't give up
Keep calling my phone
But I don't pick up
Couldn't see you with me
That sounds crazy

So why am I holding back?
'Cause crazier things have happened
So why not give us a try?
Why not give love a chance?
'Cause crazier things have happened
And take it from me
Crazier things have happened

I was so scared to try
'Cause I've seen other people cry
And it seemed like it hurt too much
To fall in love
But I've, I've seen so much in my life
To let the world pass me by
To let love pass me by
Not this time

So why am I holding back?
'Cause crazier things have happened
So why not give us a try?
Why not give love a chance?
'Cause crazier things have happened
And take it from me
Crazier things have happened
Crazier things have happened

------------------------------------

mmm crazier things have indeed happened:)

so so so happy about last night!

been missing you guys so much that i didnt even realise..:(

a few more weeks till this semester ends!!!

and then we can have more slumber parties hahahahahaha;)

i feel SO gay saying it hehehehehe

hthts ftw!

and i met ultraCUTENESS-TTM-boy :D :D :D

whoa:) :) :) felt feverishly high on good looks hehehe.

CAME BACK DOWN TO EARTH THOUGH, dont worry.

one can never gush forever hahahaa.

me: sorry for sounding superficial but he's truly adorable(: (: face daaaamn nice.

t: HAHA why so sorry guys do that all the time too :P

im officially becoming...like a guy.

HAHAHA.

anw i need to give testimony tmr................ wth.

nothing wrong with that, except i get all jittery UGH hate public speaking:(

kills my soul.

4000words shit due on monday and i havent started. good luck la anthea:)

CANT WAIT FOR MONDAY TO BE OVERR, OVVERRRRRRRRRRRRR!

k bye. need to shower and get down to scripting my thoughts mmm

its greener on my side

2010-10-10T22:11:00.003+08:00

wheeeee this is the typical time of the day when one has the highest tendency to lapse into a spirit of melancholy and nostalgia, even.

ive realised so many things lately,

about myself, about the people around me, people i love and care about.

and the truth is,

i really detest how messed up i actually am

the anger it drives me crazy, how do i stop it from welling up and making my heart swell with hurt and frustration.

the insecurities, how well masked are they?

i hate being wrongly accused. and im overly sensitive when it comes to certain matters.

but i will bite my tongue and sob my heart out in anguish.

someone's gotta give. and it cant always be me.

tonight's one of those nights,

but tmr will be better.

so careful with my footsteps, so safe so delicate.

2010-09-22T10:52:00.002+08:00

i let my heart lose to my head

look where that got me

where the love just pass me by

missing out on butterflies~

(suddenly i see)

I've seen tidal waves
People washed away
Seen the towers fall
Trust me, I've seen it all

Hurricanes have come
Entire cities gone
Snowing in July
And no one can tell me why

I give you a million reasons to leave
But you don't give up
Keep calling my phone
But I don't pick up
Couldn't see you with me
That sounds crazy

So why am I holding back?
'Cause crazier things have happened
So why not give us a try?
Why not give love a chance?
'Cause crazier things have happened
And take it from me
Crazier things have happened

Bombs are going off
All our soldiers lost
And who pays the cost?
It doesn't make sense at all

I am just a girl
I can't change the world
'Cause it's way too tough
So maybe I'll start with love

I give you a million reasons to leave
But you don't give up
Keep calling my phone
But I don't pick up
Couldn't see you with me
That sounds crazy

So why am I holding back?
'Cause crazier things have happened
So why not give us a try?
Why not give love a chance?
'Cause crazier things have happened
And take it from me
Crazier things have happened

I was so scared to try
'Cause I've seen other people cry
And it seemed like it hurt too much
To fall in love
But I've, I've seen so much in life
To let the world pass me by
To let love pass me by
Not this time

So why am I holding back?
'Cause crazier things have happened
So why not give us a try?
Why not give love a chance?
'Cause crazier things have happened
And take it from me
Crazier things have happened
Crazier things have happened

i think (romantic) love is an overly excited state of mind,

one that is mutually reinforced and exaggerated between lovers.

SO LAME:D

sososososo much work to do.

bye

urine tests.

2010-09-08T20:40:00.002+08:00

Please note the following:

a) First morning urine specimen to be collected after washing and delivered to UHC within 2 hours

b) Avoid sex/strenuous exercise for 2 days

c) Sickness (if present) to be cleared 2 weeks before repeat urine test

d) At least 5 to 7 days from the last day of your menses (for female only)

noted, with thanks.HAHA.

sorry im just really, really bored.

p.s. does that imply that sex and strenuous exercise produce the same type of chemical? ohwait they do right? endorphinzzzz.hm.

my strength, my solace.

2010-09-04T01:57:00.003+08:00

its true that work expands to fit the amount of time you have.. well for me at least.

i need to freakingFREAKING buck up and stop slacking>(

i think im pmsing!! damn.

and im like so anti-social omg.

anw im rlly sad about u syd now that i realized i actually got the offer a month ago.

the stupid agent person labelled the email as uq so i just ignored it-.-

its not too late to accept it but i guess im not meant to go there, not now at least.

its okay, i accept it:) no matter how much i wished things could turn out otherwise!

i realize i have many trigger-words.

sure, everyone has them. but it seems to me that mine's probably double or triple the portion!:(

dysfunc.

ah. okay.

finally a break from school work tmr.

church is something to look forward to!!

hope that never changes.

goodnightttt

SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE.

2010-08-13T10:41:00.001+08:00

been the nastiest bitch i ever met.

this cant go on. please.

2010-08-13T00:14:00.001+08:00

i fing hate you.

and you too.

look what i found

2010-08-06T10:36:00.002+08:00

"The kind of love where your heart feels so big and full that you're afraid its gonna burst"

im so so so glad we went for the musical:)
it was like a wake-up call for a marooned like me, a knock on the walls of my heart, a reminder of where i belong.

not because ive been abandoned, no, but because i had allowed my inertia to hold me down, pull me back. i became slave to the devil, and his plots.
well, but thank God for g&n:) i realise how much ive been missing out on, all the joy, peace, purpose, drive, self-control, faith.. among others.
ive been the nastiest bitch for the longest time, and i dont think i can blame it al on pms.
im so happy now:)

on another note, we finally finally caught inception!!!! hehehe.
and all i can say is that it was absolutely mind-blowing.
i like how chris nolan left the ending open for interpretations& debate, and i guess thats pretty much his intention, for viewers to fit the ending to however they choose to perceive it.
the movie was brilliant, by the way! havent had a movie make me feel like that since maybe skeleton key?
while i know that cobb might still very well be in limbo at the end of the show, where he could have possibly projected his dad, and kids since that was his ultimate desire consciously and subconsciously, BUT, that ending is too pessimistic for me so i'll DECIDE to believe that cobb really returned to "reality".
nolan also made the ending such that it invokes in the viewer questions on his/her own perception of reality-whether what we know of this world is really what it is afterall.
i think it would be so exciting to have the experience of having an intentional dream in an intentionally designed realm, and play around with the landscape as you wish! :D :D

anyway enough about inception, gotta go!:)